Lingering thoughts

I never thought but its been 2 months already since I came here...I've been here for 2 months? Seems a long time for me 'coz in that two months, I surely learned a lot, thought a lot, sang a lot, prayed a lot, look to the light a lot...although just a glimpse, and spiritually...it has been progressive, of course not by might, but by grace.
I went shopping yesterday and it was sale!!! (if Raul my ex-officemate sees this, i'll get a tease out of him again...he always tease me that I only shop when stores are on sale). I get to buy the card that which was my original plan...to buy a birthday card for Jing. But i ended up buying some shirts which was only $5 each and some bath soaps, shower gels...etc. which was my obsession (I didn't even know I have obsession with toiletries...yet, maybe right! not exactly obsession, but i just like sweet scents. It suits my soul whenever I smell something cool and sweet...it refreshes my feelings), candles as a gift, coffee, and a journal. Anyway, I ended up buying other little things also until i can't handle it anymore with my two hands. Back in my country, I can usually shop with someone, a friend, an officemate or probably my sister or mom. I just misses everybody during these moments when I get to have a break...roam around the mall, sight seeing, windows shopping or whatever you could call that...just being alone.

I was contemplating after two hours of shopping, why am I here for? Why did He bring me here if in the end...there will be questions? Questions like how long can I stay, how can I stay, where will I stay? Yes I have questions which until now has no clear answers, but His grace is just to great to give me peace after all these issues that has been floating up.

Yes, we have no hold of our future ahead...and we certainly can only depend on one being which is the one and only God. Right? Yeah that's right, and I wonder how small is my faith is that's why I can't have the mountain of problem be moved. I guess, it's still very tiny. And so I keep asking Him to strengthen my faith, and help me to keep relying to Him.

I maybe alone going shopping, or alone anywhere else, but I realized I can never be alone after all since I have Him always...guiding me, reminding me and living in me. That's why I ask Him if he could give me more years to stay here...how long? that I don't know but I want it to be years with an "s". He knows why...'coz I know He sees my heart.

I'm sharing this to encourage you that having faith is something, but not having faith is nothing. By faith, we knew a lot of people have done great things, impacted the world and made a difference because they believed. And that is for me the true secret of success...not merely attaining the wealth of this world, or being famous...but having the faith that is founded through Jesus.

I hope you find this sharing encouraging to you...i may have pointed some unclear things but bottomline of this is faith and having the right one. Feel free to post your comments if you have...