After our cell group a few weeks ago, I was so exhausted with work. I've been praying for something ever since before the end of 2004. But I'm not sure if this is just my emotions or if this is God's will, not until I prayed and asked Him for real. I don't know why I thought that He rarely answer my prayers, especially specific prayers. But somehow, in my doubtful human being, I have become blinded that I don't see anything huge happening in my life, except for the break-up 3 months ago.
But HE IS really amazing, 'coz that night after our cellgroup, I prayed and asked God to tell me what He really wants me to do. I've been praying whether I should leave my job and if I do, what's next?
I usually read the Bible to find something comforting whenever I need some comfort. I've been having a hard time in really connecting with God when I read it or just sit down and focus on whatever verse I am reading. But this time, I was challenged by what Felici Pangilinan (our homegroup guest) encouraged us to do. To find the answer in this Book, The Bible, because this is where we could only find it. So, I opened my Bible and tried to find the answer.
Going back to my reading, I didn't find anything that answer my question that night. But I prayed that I will wait and keep on hoping that God will give me clear answers. I really want to leave the office and the only reason was I know it is my desire and God is leading me somewhere I don't know. And this is what scares me, resigning from work without knowing where I'll go.
The next morning after that prayer, I woke up early at 5:30 am and opened the Bible once again with my small devotional booklet as a guide. I opened it and the topic talks about letting go.
What strucked me most was the conclusion entitled:
"Our Rest Provided"
It says there:
"Do you see the signpost? "ROADSIDE PARK, NEXT RIGHT".
"Go ahead and take the exit. Ease your foot off the accelerator and loosen the vise grip you have on the steering wheel. Take advantage of the opportunity God has provided. It's there just waiting for you."
There are three points that was discussed in the booklet that I should apply in this situation:
1. Stop worrying
2. Stop churning
3. Stop procrastinating.
Immediately, I understand what He meant and I was overwhelmed with God's direct response to my prayers. I never thought that He'll answer me right away. He wants me to trust HIM wholeheartedly. I immediately drafted my resignation letter, folded it and placed it in my planner on March 21 date.
As I prepared my day to work, I am praying and overwhelmed by His Word. I don't know where I will land after I resign, deep in my heart I know God will guide me and I have to fully trust Him on this. Will I get the job in that other advertising agency or should I look for other options?
That I don't know yet, but whatever decision I make in a few weeks with God's help will determine what I will be doing in the future.
I was in the FX already on my way to the office when suddenly I got a phone call from someone who actually helped me a few years ago to go to the US. And it was more overwhelming when she delivered the news that once again, she wanted me to come with her to the US. After talking to her through the cellphone, still in the FX (public vehicle), I asked God...is this your answer already?
That fast? I never thought this is where God would lead me. I was extremely thankful to God for how He immediately answered my prayers, provided an opportunity, and I was amazed by how He orchestrated the series of events, which I never imagined.
God is really amazing, and His works and abilities are immeasurable.
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I already passed my resignation letter, and although the feeling is sad with the thought that I'll be leaving my colleagues I have been with for 3 years, I'm grateful to God for allowing me to work in this company. I've earned friendship with the people inside the office and outside as well, and learned a lot in this industry. I am grateful for the time I spent here, which has been spiritually productive for me, too.
Now, I'm preparing for the next phase. I'm excited, yet I'm also a bit scared. But whenever I read Luke 12:22-34, I gain strength knowing that whatever is on this side of the road, I know my God is in control.
" For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Luke 12:34
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